How work is the perfect environment for shadow work
And how authenticity can be the key to fulfillment in your career
“When people feel free to be themselves at work, creativity and collaboration naturally thrive.” — Simon Sinek
I love this (paraphrased) quote by Simon Sinek. It highlights how beneficial it can be to choose authenticity at work — more creativity, more cohesion, and collaboration within the team. And it says a lot coming from him. Simon Sinek is a leadership expert, author, and motivational speaker best known for his book Start With Why and his viral TED Talk on inspiring leadership. His work focuses on building trust, purpose, and authenticity within organizations.
Authenticity in the workplace is not a common topic of conversation, but it needs to be. Expressing yourself with your colleagues with more ease and confidence is not just an option, it has tremendous benefits for your health and big implications for your fulfillment. We spend a lot of time working — we might as well have fun doing do.
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the mask we wear
Many of us have the habit of holding back our true selves at work. Consciously or unconsciously, we develop work personas based on our fears and perceived needs. Examples include the “good employee,” “team player,” and “high achiever”. And our fears such as rejection, insecurity, job loss, pay reduction, and denial of opportunity can lead us to carefully maintain these personas. The consequence: we feel more distanced from our authentic selves and feel more and more tense as time passes. Burnout, stress, and disinterest in our work can result.
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when discomfort speaks
The negative thoughts, feelings and symptoms (insomnia, pain, brain fog, etc) we experience as a result of this process can serve as information that can inspire a change in perspective and behavior. By studying our situation and inner world at work, we can know ourselves better and better understand how our inner dialogue and behavioral patterns are affecting our mental and physical health.
As a result of cultivating this self-awareness, we come to realize that we are fully responsible for our experience. Challenging contexts at work do not need to guarantee stress and a drop in our wellbeing. We can remain in control while noticing how the situation affects us, what fears it provokes, and choose our response.
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the power of awareness
The pause between stimulus and response is where our power lies. Rather than habitually reacting without pausing to reflect, we can begin to fully benefit from our challenging circumstances by using them for what they are: opportunities for self-awareness and personal growth. In response to every trigger we are faced with two choices: to react out of fear or respond with awareness. The more we consciously respond to life rather than react, the less we are touched by stress and the more we feel empowered to create change moment by moment.
While undesirable emotions and feelings may leave us feeling out of control at times, we can learn to use them to our benefit.
Feeling disempowered? How are you giving your power away?
Feeling abandoned? How can you support yourself?
Feeling angry? Where has a boundry been crossed?
This reflection is only the beginning. Clarity comes in layers. Like an onion, we get closer and closer to the truth of our fears and our story (personal narriative) with every event, that is if we are willing to stay curious and study ourselves.
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reflection in action
Responding from a place of self-control is easier said than done. It can be challenging to evaluate the response that will serve us most in the long run. But we don’t need to make the perfect choice — we need to choose confidently and decisively. What matters more than the choice itself is whether we trust ourselves to navigate the consequences of our decision.
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staying as a practice
I recently had a coworker who was eager to leave our company due to disagreements he had with our boss. Unfortunately, he encountered similar problems at his new job and wished he had never left.
He did not make the wrong choice by leaving, but he was wrong to assume that there was not a potential of experiencing similar issues in a new environment.
Rather than being in a rush to leave, we can consider the situation an opportunity to learn more about ourselves and build confidence in our capacity to face adversity. We can think of it as an experiment and ask ourselves what lesson there is to integrate and how we can still show up authentically at work in spite of obstacles. Better yet, succeeding in showing up authentically may be the solution we needed all along.
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authenticity as freedom
When we are afraid, our voices and our authentic expression are limited. We dare not say what we want to say or do what we want to do out of fear that there will be undesirable consequences. Sometimes, bringing awareness to these fears can bring tremendous relief. By recognizing the fear, we do not necessarily need to do anything about it. Some of us fear rejection, others fear abandonment. Having an awareness of what fears cause us to feel limited is empowering. It is as if we start to understand who our character is and what our lessons are. Our life experience begins to seem less like a sad story and more like a journey on which we can grow as an individual, gain confidence and self-acceptance, and feel fulfilled by the person we are becoming.
And as we adopt this growth mindset, we let go of our fears and begin to live more fully. What this looks like: lightheartedness, joy, happiness, creativity, a touch of humor. We express our values, set boundaries, and show up fully. As a result, we feel more fulfilled, more resilient, and more connected to those around us.
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at the core of it all
The progress does not need to happen all at once, and it doesn’t need to look any certain way. What matters most is not whether we succeed, but rather how we show up.
Are you willing to examine yourself and acknowledge your patterns, your fears, your insecurities? Are you willing to face what is uncomfortable? Are you willing to embrace an imperfect life?
If so, you are doing everything right.
All we need to do is show up with an open heart. If we strive to do just this, we have arrived.
— pascale
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